Monday, 26 September 2011

Singleparenthood sucks without friends and neighbours

It has been an eventful week, like a hamster in a wheel I am spinning like mad and getting nowhere fast. I think I may have to adopt the ostrich pose and return to bed for a morning nap, which, although in some circles that may appear decadent to me it feels a trifle pathetic at 9.30 in the morning. I know its a steep learning curve, learning to do it all alone but frankly I think this journey could do with a few rest stops and the odd comfortable bench on which to sit and catch my breathe before I slog onwards on my journing to independance and being a single mother, whilst attempting to retain my sense of humour and sanity at the same time.

The week started with middle having a tummy ache, being off his food ( unheard of) and complaining of feeling sore and tired. I practise the onwards and upwards method of family nursing ie if you arent actually throwing up, are confined to the toilet or have a broken limb then off to school with you. By the time he came home again he was feeling a little rough still but I sent him off to bed with a hot water bottel and a couple of pain killers, Tuesday I had a message from school to come and fetch him as he was vraiment mal au vent, the French being renowned for their hyperchrondria I suspected nothing much but arrived at school to find him sitting on the wall hardly able to stand up and an fashionable shade of stone grey. We drove straight to the Doctors , who was of course closed for lunch and sat and sat until my patient decided actually he was feeling a lot better and a little light bed rest would do the trick. You can see where this is going can't you ? Wednesday we trotted off to the Doctor who took one look at him, poked him a bit then frowned , do you think its appendisitus he asked me, oh yep I replied but had rather hope you'd tell me it was indigestion. People die of appendisitus don't they said youngest. I could see the tears welling up in his brothers eyes. Nobody panic !!

So there we were, a rush back home to deposit youngest with kind neighbours, a dash to hospital ( if you can call a 30 minute drive a dash) a worrying short time in the waiting room in emergency and a quick diagnosis confirmed by blood and urine tests and a lot of poking patient in the groin. Several hours later, the surgeon having been alerted to the fact that tonight he may need to pop in tout suite to do an emergency apendectomy so it might be a good idea to not get involved in anything he didnt mind dropping at short notice, having settled frightened 13 year old into his bed I staggered home arriving at midnight where kind neighbour was dozing at the kitchen table having lit fires in the woodburners and fed and watered youngest who was fast asleep. Dawn came with a phone call to ask how fast I could be back at the hospital so poor youngest was woken deposited with my amazing standby support team and I shot off to arrive just in time to have to wait whilst middle was washed shaved, in the sort of places 13 year old boys really do not want female nurses to shave them, and doped up ready for surgery.

When they took him away on his bed, leaving me in a suddenly empty room, you have no idea how weird a hospital room looks minus a bed plonked in the middle, they told me he'd be back by midday. I sat and twiddled my fingers I phoned his father to leave an urgent message, I phoned his sister to reassure her and I waited. Five oclock he wasseventually rolled through the door still very dopey, his bodies reluctance to wake up from the anesthetic was the cause of the delay, and a very nasty shade of putty. Another midnight journey home in the fog and then back the follwing day to collect him and bring him home less than 24 hours after surgery.

Home safe and well with daily visits from a nurse still sore but getting better by the day and me ? If ti wasnt for kindness and caring of good friends and neighbours I am not sure how I would have mananged it alone, except I would have had to for ,as my almost X husband used to tell me, tough if you can't cope you don't have an option, which I think sums up single parenthood ina nutshell.


Pondside said...

You did it - you Mother Bear, you. You are doing it every day and doing it all well. Raising your children, setting an example and moving forward. No wonder your friends and neighbours want to support you - you are heroic.

mountainear said...

Hear, hear to Pondside's comment. Never doubt yourself and your abilities.

Hope the patient is feeling more like his old self and not being too demanding!

Fred said...

As Pondside said, You did it. And you did it admirably. A few years from now you will look back on this torrid, horrid time and wonder 'How the hell did I cope?' But you are and you will continue to do so.

So glad you have good friends around you and never forget your cyber friends are with you in spirit.

Get well soon to the invalid, and here's hoping the demanding has started because in my experience that was always a sure sign they were getting better!

Take care x

bayou said...

Oh dear! Will you believe me that this is exactly what happend to me in that situation? Only that I had nor neighbours nor friends around and we rushed together with dog and eldest to hospital and the outcome was a bit more dramatic. So glad, it was diagnosed in time and can only echo the other fellows: you brave mother did it! Every day a little step forward and in between some tough moments which are there to make you always stronger. Bravo, ma petite courageuse!

Frances said...


Please do allow yourself to take a little bow, and perhaps also a little nap, morning or afternoon.

What a lot of to-ing and fro-ing you have had. Of course, I am wondering how our US medical systems would have handled a similar situation. Great to have your lad home and recuperating. Great that your friends rallied round quickly.

As always, xxx ooo.